Time

Lately the issue of time has really been on my mind a lot (maybe it's all these 30th birthdays I keep seeing pop up on Facebook? Or maybe how fast the first two years of Hazel's life have flown by? Or maybe it's all of these long nights I have spent comforting the babies lately?). What I mean by this is just how much TIME is invested in raising a child (especially if one wants to raise a happy, healthy, well adjusted one). I remember snippets of my childhood but honestly the full blown memories of things don't really start until around age 7. Being a mom now I realize that those first 6 or so years were filled with a huge investment of love & time (and long nights I'm sure) on the part of my parents and family - all things which I know had an impact on me although I don't necessarily "remember" them.

I always used to think it was weird when adults would approach me as I got older and emphatically state "I used to hold you all the time when you were a baby!" or tell me some other random memory involving them with me as a baby. I used to think that was such a strange thing for someone "I didn't know" to say. Now I can understand that they probably did enjoy my company when I was little but then that contact fizzled out and I was left with no memory of them. Unfortunately, the little investment of time up front was simply not enough to create a lasting and/or memorable impression for me.

Being separated by some distance with family all over the country I was nervous at first that our kids wouldn't recognize certain people who are important to me and that I most certainly wanted to be important in Hazel and Roscoe's lives. However, thanks to the aid of technology and a tremendous amount of effort in making many visits, sending packages, cards, calling, skyping, etc I have come to find out that our kids can feel the love of those far away just as much (and sometimes more?) simply because of their incredible time and effort. Even at such a young age kids notice these things.

So essentially, that is what all of this rambling comes down to. At times I feel like I'm just managing my way through the day (and night!) and that the kids won't remember any of this stuff right now or all the time I spent holding them and kissing their sweet foreheads. However, deep in my heart I know that it does affect them both now and for the rest of their lives and that the people who love & care about them enough to take the time for them now (and continue to do so) will remain constants in their lives and become an integral part of the fabric of who they are.