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Wednesday, May 27, 2009

On becoming a Mother...

I can't get over how much my life has changed in the past 2 1/2 weeks. I thought I would have somewhat of an idea of what to expect of motherhood but nothing could have prepared me for the real thing. The sleep deprivation, emotional mood swings, physical pain of recovering from childbirth and difficulties with breastfeeding have definitely been unexpected challenges that I have honestly had to will myself to power through. However, the love I have for our daughter, the immense joy I feel when I see Marshall and her interacting and knowing that our beautiful little family has just begun all far outweigh any of the difficulties I might let myself get caught up in.

Hazel seems to be doing great and is becoming more alert which is really nice. She still has her days and nights mixed up which leads to a lot of naps for me during the day and a lot of visine for Marshall to cover up his bloodshot eyes at work :)

I can't believe that already this weekend Aunt Melissa will be here and then next week a whole host of visitors including grandparents, great grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles and family friends will be here to meet Hazel for the very first time (oh yeah, and to celebrate Marshall's Ph.D!) We can't wait to see everyone!


Hazel & Dad at Nap Time



Loving her first bath



More of her first bath



Our little strawberry

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Hazel's Birth Story

So here we are 10 days after Hazel's arrival and I finally have found the time to write about her birth. These first few days have been both exhausting and amazing. Marshall and I still can't believe that she is here and that she is ours. Here's how her entrance into the world began (warning... it is very long!!)...

On Thursday, May 7th Marshall and I went to the Doctor's office for our second growth ultrasound. We knew that if it looked like Hazel hadn't grown that we would be talking induction, but somehow I still felt like that wasn't going to happen. I even went to work that morning and told everyone that I was planning on being back that afternoon. Marshall took the morning off so I swung by our apartment to pick him up. The entire drive there we kept wondering what was going to happen and couldn't believe that there was a chance we would be meeting our baby sooner than we thought. Corrie did our ultrasound again and was very open with us the whole time. Hazel was measuring about 4 weeks "behind", her AFI (amniotic fluid) level dropped from an 8 the previous Friday to a 6 and the ultrasound estimated her to be approximately 6lbs 3oz. We then spoke with the midwife, Renee, who gave us a few options. The good news was that while Hazel was still measuring small, she was proportionately small which meant that the IUGR (intrauterine growth restriction) wasn't severe (when it gets real bad the brain is the only thing taking the nutrients so the head starts to measure bigger than the rest of the body). Surprisingly the most concerning thing was the fluid level, since the consensus is that if the fluid goes down to 5 that is grounds for immediate delivery. Renee said we could wait until 40 weeks (at which point if I hadn't delivered yet we would definitely induce) or we could choose to do the induction that day. If we did decide to wait then I would have to come every two days for follow up tests. After talking about it for a bit, Marshall and I decided that the best option would be to induce that day, but we wanted to use Cervidil and not pitocin because it was more natural. The midwife agreed with our plan and scheduled us to come back to check into the hospital at 4pm. Renee then checked me and said I was 1 cm dilated and 80% effaced. When she checked me she also stripped my membranes to see if that wouldn't get the whole process started.

At this point we started freaking out a bit and met with our doula, Natalie, in the parking lot of the hospital. She was very calm and we discussed our plans for how everything would turn out. She told us to go get some lunch, take a walk and try to relax a bit. This was difficult as we were both extremely anxious and excited at the same time! We then stopped by Kaiser so that Marshall could turn in his time card and talk to his supervisors about being gone. From there we went and had a feast of pizza and salad at BJ's. At this point the stripping of the membranes must have worked because I started having contractions. Nothing consistent, but definitely obvious which was great since I really hadn't had many at all during the last weeks of the pregnancy. We then went home, took a nice long walk and got everything ready to go to the hospital.

Once we got to the hospital at 3:30 I checked us in and Marshall started calling family to let them know what was going on. We were brought to our labor room and met our first nurse, Anna, who was really great. She took all of my information and started me on the Cervidil, which is a medicine that they put right up against your cervix to soften it. The cervidil is supposed to take 12 hours to work so we figured that we would leave it in overnight and then discuss what the next steps would be in the morning. Cervidil isn't the preferred choice for many doctors because it is expensive and takes a lot longer to work, but that is why it is so great we had a midwife who was supportive of us using it. At 4:30 pm I was about 2cm dilated when they put in the Cervadil and I noticed it kick in right away - forget the 12 hours! I started having small contractions which turned into very steady and progressively more intense contractions. At this point Natalie showed up and was planning on checking in, going home to sleep and coming back the next morning. However, when she saw how steady and strong my contractions were, she said she would go home and change and be right back. Labor had definitely kicked in and it was kicking hard!

At 7:30 (3 hours after the cervadil started) the contractions were very intense and I was contracting so hard that the Cervidil came out. We decided to leave it out and see if my body continued to labor on it's own, which it most definitely did. I then proceeded to experience the most intense pain of my life. Hazel was head down but face up, so the hardest part of her head was pressing into the spine/back with each contraction and her feet were also kicking me in the back. I honestly felt as if there were two butcher knives jabbed into my back and being twisted with every contraction. Natalie and Marshall kept telling me to try and relax with the contractions so that I could dilate. The pain was so strong though that every muscle in my body tensed up. After nine hours of this pain I was only at 3 cm, mostly because my body was so tense and I was beyond the point of exhaustion. At this point I made the decision that I would like an epidural. The great thing was that I was able to get a light/walking epidural, so I still felt the pain of the contractions and was able to move my legs. It was uncomfortable when he put it in, especially since I had to stay still and was having contractions the entire time. Once I got the epidural, Natalie also thought it would be a good idea to break my water and move the baby down. The crazy thing is that there was almost NO fluid when they broke my water which just confirmed the ultrasound from earlier that morning. When they broke my water, it had been about 45 minutes from the epidural and I had already progressed to a 5 because my body had relaxed. After my water broke I started noticing that the contractions had become more and more intense over the next hour. It got to the point where they were worse than they were before the epidural and it started to freak me out! We called back the anesthesiologist and he gave me a boost of the medicine to see if that would work. When it didn't he decided that he would just have to redo the epidural but before he did that Natalie asked if we could just check on my progress really quick. Good thing she brought that up because in that short hour I had progressed from 5cm to 10cm and was ready to push!!! I couldn't believe how it took me 9 hours to go 1 cm and less than 2 hours to go 7 cm just because my body had relaxed a bit.

The nurse decided that we should try a practice push and once we did that she had a surprised look on her face and said to go get the doctor. They called Renee (our midwife) who all along had been planning on coming in for the delivery and it was decided that she wouldn't be able to get there in time based on how quickly Hazel was coming. Everyone asked it I would be ok to have the on call doctor deliver her and I said that it was since I was not wanting to wait any longer! I started pushing and had my eyes closed the entire time since I was so focused. There are no words to describe how I felt, but euphoric comes the closest. I felt AMAZING and strong while I was pushing and I knew that it wouldn't be long until I got to meet our baby. I pushed for a mere 20 minutes and the next thing I know Marshall said "Laura, open your eyes!! Look at our baby!!" and when I did I saw the doctor holding her up in front of me! She was beautiful and they placed her on my chest as we had wanted. She was pretty blue and hadn't started crying yet so they asked me if they could take her and suction the gunk out of her lungs. I said that would be ok because I just wanted to hear that classic newborn cry and know that she was ok. Marshall went with her over to the other side of the room and they got her pink and crying really quick while they stitched me up. Since she came so incredibly fast I had some pretty serious tearing, a first degree and a second degree tear. Also, it was surprising to note that the doctor who delivered Hazel and had no idea about the IUGR held up my placenta after it was delivered to show me that it had a lot of calcium deposits and looked like it had pretty much stopped working. They brought Hazel back to me which is when I learned her stats: 6lbs 12oz, 20 inches long and she was born at 5:01 am. I was able to hold her and feed her right up against my skin and Marshall and I just marveled at how beautiful she was.

They let us stay in our labor room for a bit longer and then transferred us over to the postpartum side at around 7am. While I recovered they came and did all of their checks on the baby and everything looked good. At first we thought we would like to be discharged that day since we had a shared room meaning Marshall would have to go home at 10pm, but since I was still in a lot of pain and trying to get the hang of breastfeeding, I stayed one more night with Hazel while Marshall got some much needed rest. Everyone at the hospital (doctors, nurses, etc) was so wonderful and we really had a positive experience there.

Overall, I can honestly say that I had the best birth experience possible for this pregnancy and for this baby. I felt like we were a part of all the decisions made and that we made the best possible choices based on the information that we had. I am so grateful that I had the support of Natalie (our doula) and Marshall throughout the entire process. The first week of recovery was really difficult for me, mostly because I wasn't expecting to be in so much pain from the delivery/tearing. Marshall was a rock and took such good care of me while continuing to encourage me. I still can't believe our beautiful baby girl is here. We are so in love.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Introducing Hazel Rai Schott

Hazel Rai Schott was born at 5:01 am on Friday, May 8th after 12.5 hours of labor. She weighed in at 6 pounds 12 ounces and was 20 inches long. Marshall was an amazing support throughout the entire labor as well as in these first few days of fatigue and acclimation. We are all doing very well and are overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support from everyone. Unfortunately we haven't had much time to respond to everyone individually, but we just want you all to know that we are receiving the well wishes and appreciate them very much. I have attached a few of the hospital pics for those who haven't seen them and will be sure to update more when I get the chance




Thursday, May 7, 2009

Quick Update...

Well we went in for our growth ultrasound this morning and although the baby is still looking healthy, she has not grown very much and the fluid level has gone down even more. After much discussion with our midwife and doula it was decided that it would be best to go to the hospital for an induction. We have a plan for the least invasive type of induction, but we will just have to see how it goes. Marshall and I are about to head over there now. We will try to keep everyone posted as we get a chance but will be very busy... so we won't be answering our phones. Send positive labor vibes our way... can't wait to meet our little girl!!

Saturday, May 2, 2009

3D Baby

Yesterday's appointment overall went really well. I say overall because we had a bit of concern in the middle, but it all worked itself out. Since my appointment was late in the afternoon Marshall was able to go with me which was really wonderful. We first did the NST and everything was great. The next thing to do was check the level of amniotic fluid (AFI) and then we could be on our way. Due to our insurance, the midwife either had to do the AFI or send us out to the hospital to check it so she decided to just do it herself with an ancient dinosaur of an ultrasound machine. When she was using this old machine she really couldn't see much fluid and started to get concerned, asking if I had noticed any leaking fluid (uh...no?) or anything else the past few days. She then decided to check my cervix as well (70% effaced, fingertip dilated) and said that she would try to see if the ultrasound tech not covered by our insurance was available to do a quick check for us that late in the afternoon.

Cory, the ultrasound tech, was able to squeeze us in and was really great. Marshall, being his usual charming self, had her laughing a lot and at that point she switched her machine over to the 3D function for a quick look and it was amazing!!! I saw our baby's smooshed face right away but it took Marshall a second to figure it out. What a difference between the 2D and 3D ultrasounds! (I've attached the pictures below, see if you can decipher the smooshed baby face - it's her eyes, nose and lips) She then measured the fluid level and we got an 8 (we were shooting for 6 or above) which was wonderful news since it meant that I wouldn't have to be sent over to the hospital for a possible induction. We were then told we could go home which was very exciting!

To celebrate the good news we went out to dinner at a Mexican restaurant. I partly wanted to do this because I can not tell you how many Fresno labor stories start with "I had a huge Mexican meal and then started to feel funny..."