Update on Hazel's Heart

Thought I would post an update as to how our appointment went on Wednesday to check on the cause of Hazel's heart murmur. We were referred to Children's as our pediatrician thought the murmur sounded more "harsh" and she wanted us to get it checked out as it could possibly be due to her having a hole in her heart.

I don't know what I was expecting from the appointment, but I honestly was surprised by my reaction. I had been to Children's Hospital once before, but never in the capacity as a mother and I can't explain how profoundly I was affected by it. For some reason I thought it would just be like any other doctor's visit, but then I got there and started seeing all of the sick kids and their parents it was heart wrenching. Her appointment was at the "Heart Center" and there were other kids with us in the waiting room who all had heart conditions. The little girl sitting next to me was just clinging to her mother and saying "Mommy, I'm scared" and it was just about all I could do to hold it together. At this point I definitely became much more anxious wondering about what Hazel's results would be. I was also thinking that I really wish Marshall had been there, but then again the thought hadn't even crossed my mind when making the appointment. They called me back and started to check Hazel's weight, length, etc. At this point she started really crying and when they tried to take her blood pressure she was wailing to the point that they said "you need to give her a bottle!" I told them that I wasn't bottle feeding her so they said I needed to feed her right away so that they could get a reading and do the EKG. I started feeding her and that helped a bit but she was still upset while they did the EKG. Then the pediatric cardiologist sent us over to get an ultrasound of her heart which seemed to take forever, especially since the ultrasound tech wasn't talking during the entire thing (which made me even more nervous). The whole time they were doing the ultrasound, Hazel was crying her little heart out which added to my stress. Add to it that she had FOUR (yes, FOUR!!) "blowout" poopy diapers during this ordeal on top of everything else. Anyway, the ultrasound tech said she would share the results with the doctor and he would come discuss them with me. After a few minutes he walked through the door and pronounced "so we have a normal healthy baby"! Ah, the relief I had was incredible. He went on to explain that she did have a "communication" between the two sides of her heart, which is absolutely normal at her age. He said that she did not have a hole and that the murmur was caused by the fact that she still has narrow valves since she is small, but that as she grows it should go away. As we were discussing this and I was holding Hazel we all noticed that she had finally stopped crying and had fallen fast asleep. The doctor told me that it happens often since babies are very intuitive and she could tell that her mom had finally relaxed.

All in all, I am so thankful that everything is fine with her heart. I am so thankful that Children's Hospital exists and that such skilled and caring people work there. I returned from the hospital exhausted and overwhelmed by what I had experienced and the insight that I gained. I am so in awe of mothers who have sick children and the strength that they have on a daily basis. I am so amazed at how strong those little kids at the hospital are and what great attitudes they have. I thought of my friend Danielle often that day and am even more amazed at her dedication and perserverance with her daughter Jackie and know that I only "understand" 1/1,000 of what she and other moms must be going through. What an intense afternoon...